This Person Messes Up my Brain

Sometimes we meet people that we ‘get’ right away. We share with them, feel open with them, and in the case of socially awkward people such as myself actually talk to them.

Sometimes we meet people we don’t like right away. Maybe it was a bad first impression and you eventually grow to like the person or maybe you just end up not liking them forever.

There are the people in between.  There are people so dang cool that you’re afraid to even talk to them.

My point is that no matter what, if you know a person for long enough, you get an idea of how you feel about them. This sometimes changes of course but generally there’s no one that, no matter how often you talk to this person, you have no idea how you should feel about them.

I have met this person. I shall call him K.  I have known K for a while and below is the transcript of what happens to my body every time we interact:

Defensive strategy engaged. 

What? Heart, what are you doing?

We shall protect this person to the death.

No. That’s seriously weird heart. You’re going to freak him out and oh god he’s showing us some writing and it’s amazing. What do we do? Do we even like him? I mean of course we like him but do we like him in that way? I don’t know what to do.

Death to all unbelievers

That’s not an answer, heart. I’m seriously freaking out here. This person is amazing and oh my god what if we say something inappropriate? Mouth, have you got anything?

Buhhhh….prettttyyyy….

Jesus we’re going down in flames here. What’s wrong with all of you? Instinct/guts? Help me out?

Don’t ask me. I felt protective once and look what it did to heart.

We must not say anything to hurt or scare him. Ever.

That’s….well of course we wouldn’t intentionally…oh now he’s talking about something else and it’s amazing. We need to get it together. I don’t think we’ve said anything in a while. We need some kind of strategy. Cute and flirty? No he seems kind of sensitive about that. Ummm….look I really need to know what kind of angle we’re trying to play. Wait. Libido! What have you got?

I got nothin’.

What? We don’t find him attractive? But he’s…

Oh no, he’s attractive. I’ve just got nothin’. I don’t even know where to start with this kid.

But….you ran the show for years. You’ve made some pretty serious decisions. You always know how to feel about everyone and now the one time I actually need you YOU HAVE NOTHING?

Yup. 

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to respond to anything! He’s still talking and none of you are giving me any signals aside from heart and she’s being creepy as hell and….Error-system shutdown. Your brain has been deactivated to prevent explosion. Please be patient while we reboot. 

Ha you’re so awesome K. You really need to write more. 

*growl* You are being too forward. Do not make me eat you.

It’s bad. Really bad.

It’s like if you saw a unicorn leap by and it’s all happy and glitter just seems to be showering down and also there’s money falling from the sky and little hearts promising you eternal love and happiness. You want to believe that it’s actually happening but no, it just can’t be.  Can it?

Imagine that brief second of confusion and happiness and hope mixed in with the terrible feeling that you might just be going insane.

 

That’s how I feel every time I talk to this person.