So yeah

Hey Zonie! How's school going?

I'll give you a hint:

Yes, this is actually written in my notebook.

Panic-induced and near-suicidal alternatives to staying in class.

That was the second week of class. One teacher I have is quite good. The other...well...

She has no idea how to explain things and gives an incredible amount of homework, leading to much flailing from me and my classmates. Keep in mind we're all seniors in college and this is our second-to-last semester. We're good at being in college by now. We can BS with the best of them and can write papers in our sleep, or in the hour before class, as the case may be. We can slap together projects and deal with demanding professors. What we can't do? Understand a single damn thing this woman wants us to do.

Here are some more excerpts/doodles about what this woman does to my brain:

Yes, this was inspired by this comic.

 I'm not trying to disparage my teacher or be all "OMG! Worst teacher evar!"- she's usually quite nice. She just doesn't seem to understand that our flailing means that we don't understand. I'm not quite sure what she thinks, or why she thinks everyone seems to be so exasperated. Even her attempts to clarify things make us go into a slight panic:
Her: "Oh, I want things in this format, except when I don't. No, I don't seem to have listed or written that anywhere in your syllabus or told you or put it on the course homepage, but you're in college now and I expect higher-caliber work."
Us: "But ma'am, every professor seems to want different things when we do papers, even when they say APA format. Some want a cover page, some don't. Most don't want an abstract either. Could you just write what you want down please?"
Her: "I want an abstract, a cover page and a heading- true APA format."
Us: "Oh...okay. On every paper?"
Her: "No."
Us: "On...the paper we just turned in?"
Her: "Yes."
Us: "But...it's a two-page opinion/reaction paper. An abstract/summary would either be half of the paper itself, or one line of text."
Her: "Like I said, I expect higher-caliber work from college students."
Us: *blank stare, shifting to looking at one another and shrugging* "Okay, what about the paper that's due next week?"
Her: "Oh, no APA for that. Now I'm going to read a story! Also there's a discussion due in two days that I put online!"
Us: "But...how are we...supposed to know...it's not written anywhere...how many things are due next week?"
Her: "It's about a squirrel! It's a metaphor for how you're all afraid to try new things!"
Me: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
 Her:"Now I'm going to write on the board! It has nothing to do with what I was previously talking about!"
Me: Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!



On the plus side I am writing again, so there's that.